Zipping my memories

Until yesterday you and I stood on same earth. But what is happening today? My earth seemingly revolves in opposite direction. The clock you gifted me shows absurd time. I am looking in the direction you mentioned. I am focusing hard dear, but I don’t see red colour splashed on the horizon. I turned all around, not a breeze ruffled my hairdo.

My sight seems myopic. Your face appears blurring. How can I catch your wink and know our next prank? I am unable to figure out from eyes’ sparkle whether you are excited or crying a river. I am waiting for that one blink of assurance sweetheart that I am not alone and never will be.

I am not good at lip reading dear. There is a commotion here. I don’t hear my nasty nick name. Did you burst out laughter or wince in pain? But you guaranteed that you read and you got a phone too. I have been shouting that I will miss you and love you forever. Could you also notice the tremble?

Oh I see your hand waving goodbye! We need a last loud high-five. The senile hand doesn’t know her support will be away only for a while. I want to hold your face in my palms. I got a touch screen device to make up. I run my finger across your face and the crappy UI interferes.

I can’t stop my reverse trail. I wish the horizon spread a little farther. Or I could accommodate it in my bag! I am so helpless without you dear? How can I drink away all your tears? How can I hug into your caring heart? How can I kiss for our endless love?

The Last Glimpse

It is harder than anticipated. It is more precise than the wildest guess. It has become too painful for preparedness you have developed to face this ugly truth. All the efforts to comfort this blow have turned out futile.

“It is never too late!” Not entirely true is it? Now God punishes us for the things we deferred. Here come the moments that make you realize they are the last ones. It is like trying to carry home the sands at sea shores. Silently those cute little particles slip out of your clench. And by the time you reach home, you learn that you are alone; the sands abandon you.

Man is such a helpless animal. He boasts about being the smartest species on earth. But in some corner of his brain’s counterpart –mind; he knows he cannot live alone. He finally understands that the blood was just keeping the brain alive; the mind was thriving on emotions and feelings. All these years you spent your life painting a masterpiece. The picture was almost getting complete, when God stole your colors away.

These are some moments when you turn to God. Praying to him to bring back the time to complete that unfinished dance step on the DJ floor with your friend. Requesting to bring back the situation when a sitcom made you laugh so hard you thought you were going to pass out from the stomachache. Kneeling down and begging one last rain when you don’t care about the mobile phone and the cool drops make the feeling of freedom re-surface. Pleading to slow down time because you haven’t yet framed the sentences to tell that girl how much you love her.

Relationships are like jigsaw puzzles. You are one of the many pieces. All the while you strived needlessly to make yourself perfect. Life teaches that all pieces are imperfect for a reason. Their irregularity is what makes easier for them to accommodate each other. It is another of the nature’s miracles when it shows that these unshaped pieces take shape into a beautiful picture.

Things are ending like a sunset. It looks so beautiful that you promise to stare it forever. But the dusk is waiting for that slight eye-blink to subtly take over. Eyes are welling up. I don't know whether it is because of staring-strain or emotions. But I don't want to miss this Last Glimpse.

Friends

Life’s a journey and you are baffled at some juncture when you have to decide which way to tread. Since the day you were born you had been made to travel this way of life with no destination even past the horizon. You haven’t even realized that your endurance has been truly indefatigable.

At all these crossroads you want to look back, and see the past in the eye. The same old feeling comes rushing back in the heart. You irritate yourself for trying to remember when was the last time this familiar pain had surfaced. It happens too often. It happens too often to shrug it off as a déjà vu. It’s like building a sand castle on the beach. You work so hard to make it beautiful. But in the ruck of abeyant experiences in some corner of your mind, you know that at any moment the sea wave will ruin the fantasy you had been tirelessly devising.

It reminds you of the train journey. You bid goodbye to the fellow passengers who made the journey so memorable; you wished your destination be same. But it is disturbing when life teaches you; the journey has not even come to an end and one of you has to alight, to start another expedition. You stand at the doors of the slowing down train and you can actually see the passage of the “T for time”, re-living the life you spent with your friends.

You felt so secure among your group of friends! Life is a thin lariat, and you have your share of falls. But every time you fell, a friend was there to lend you the helping hand. Your friend had always been sunrise of the day. The bunking of lectures together, the numerous bites you grabbed outside college and rated all the eligible girls you thought were girlfriend type. You enjoyed the life so much, you never let go a single opportunity of being with your friends. You partied hard at your friend’s birthday but before that you smacked the posterior of all friends light enough to be carried by 4 persons. You never visited the nearby picnic spot during the day, but waited for a black out so that you can take the bikes and explore places in the night. Even if the place is outside the city premises.

You planned the innumerable “mazze” time you shared with the friends, enjoying it every time. It could be a trip to a far away place or a silly but prestigious cricket match. You tried all the sledging you heard on TV in a losing match. And collectively lamented the defeat. You enjoyed being the part of the games like Table Tennis and carrom you weren’t even good at. You watched movies together and ridiculed the horror ones and cried hiding your face during the emotional.

You laughed at the jokes on anybody in the group. You were teased for all the funny posts on the community forum and even the way you dressed. You had hated them then. But now you are surprised to see yourself smile at your own fiasco. You cried when you failed and shared your sorrows and relationship problems in life. Every time, there was a shoulder to cry on.

Friendship is in fact a recondite relationship. It is a travesty to be a “Dostana”. It is indeed platonic and close to the heart. I spent so many great moments with my friends. Right now I am seeing that “T for time” outside the slowing down train. I think I want to change my decision about alighting down the next station.