I can really Feel the Feelings Now

Since the past so many days, I was thinking about why the mind is so obsessed about its own feelings. I personally believe that mind has nothing to do with the brain. If it’s the blood that flows inside out of a brain, they are feelings that flow inside out of the mind.

Since childhood I have always tried my best to control my feelings like what I think about my friends , what I think about God and what I think about myself. Every moment I had strived so hard, I hadn’t allowed the feelings to enslave me. You adopt certain principles in life, which aren’t even taught to you. No one gives any hint or an idea. They just occur to you, and you make those an integral part of your identity.

I always tried to hide my feelings. Not that I was afraid, but I believed feelings were for the weak.  And it has taken some time, to realize that I was wrong. Circumstances teach you, mould you to a different person. You wonder why you had been that way. What good did it do? You have a dilemma whether you should give up and appreciate that you had been stupid, or just hang on to whatever crap you believed – only because it was yours. Testing your endurance as to how long you can sustain, how good you are at advocating your principle and justifying at the same time.

But when you learn life’s lessons you get used to it. You get fairly acquainted with what life is really about. And suddenly you are different as a person, as a friend, as a child. Every time I learn that I had not been right, it reminds me of a turtle. No one had told it to stay inside the hard shell. It was the turtle’s decision. It seems that it had tried to harden his feelings, blot out all that made it look weak and feeble. But the world always knew that within that shell there is a softer and sensitive part which couldn’t harden for some reason even after an aeon.

Feelings really don’t have a pathway as the blood has veins and arteries. It’s like when you are standing and it’s raining. The feelings are the rain drops. You believe there was never a necessity of an umbrella. You hadn’t cared to look up and acknowledge. The cloud above was always one.